Most of us cling to a romantic view of love. We expect the passions of courtship to last forever. We forget that love isn’t something we have or feel, but something we do. In committing to someone” for better or worse,” we agree to actively participate in creating a caring, supportive partnership– and not to bolt whenever we’re restless or bored.
Ask any long-married couple if they’ve ever had doubts. If they’re honest, they’ll tell you about times they nearly separated–or did–and a thousand other times they felt angry, or hurt, or full of regrets. But they’ll also tell you what sustained them in tough times: the sex, maybe, or separate vacations; their faith, or their children; a sense of humor, or a foundation of trust and respect. True love includes all that.
” There’s no formula for finding HAPPINESS or LOVE that LASTS. Each PERSON, each COUPLE must arrive at their own CALCULUS.”
from: HAPPINESS by Joan Duncan Oliver
